An eleven-game run ends in the worst lineup week of Rechtangles' season
Written by AI and published without review, so it may contain errors. The scores and records are computed from league data; the judgements are not facts.
Week 9 is final. The median was 112.67. The Real Slim Brady (165.64), Gulley (143.36), Tetucky Odunze (127.78), Shmurdarer's Row (127.44) and BP (124.18) cleared it; 1-800-FLOWERS (101.16), I Love Josh Allen (98.36), The Cold Seats (97.30), Denton Daemons (76.90) and Cameron (69.08) did not. Carol, Gulley and The Klewj went 2-0. Token, BP, Rechtangles and Tod split. Jad, Mitch and Cameron went 0-2.
The scoreboard, widest margin first. Gulley beat Cameron by 74.28, 143.36 to 69.08. The Real Slim Brady beat Tetucky Odunze by 37.86, 165.64 to 127.78. I Love Josh Allen beat Denton Daemons by 21.46, 98.36 to 76.90. 1-800-FLOWERS beat The Cold Seats by 3.86, 101.16 to 97.30. Shmurdarer's Row beat BP by 3.26, 127.44 to 124.18.
Three numbers worth keeping. 165.64 was Carol's, the week's best, clear of Gulley by 22.28 and the third-biggest single week of the season behind Rechtangles' 215.74 in week 7 and Gulley's 181.90 in week 5. 62.38 was what Cameron left on the bench, the most any team has left in one week this season, past Mitch's 61.40 in week 6. And 63 players were unavailable across the ten rosters — on bye, ruled out, on injured reserve or on the taxi squad. No other week has come close; week 6, at 48, was the previous high. The thinnest week the league has played also produced two of the three best-run lineups of the season.
## The lineups
BP started the best nine it had: 124.18 of a possible 124.18, the second perfect lineup of 2026 after Carol's in week 8, and the only one so far that lost a game. Jayden Daniels scored 14.56 on the bench and Bo Nix started and returned 16.68, which is the call that made it perfect. The head-to-head went 3.26 the other way regardless. Three players were unavailable, the fewest in the league.
Carol came a tenth of a point from the same thing — 165.64 against a possible 165.74 — with ten players unavailable, as many as anyone. Jalen Hurts and Roman Wilson were on injured reserve; DeVonta Smith, Dontayvion Wicks, Treylon Burks, Bam Knight and Terrance Ferguson were ruled out; Pat Freiermuth was on bye; two more sat on the taxi squad. What was left scored anyway: Kenneth Walker III 36.30, Ja'Marr Chase 31.50, Brock Bowers 22.30. That is two weeks running at 100.0% and 99.9% of what was available.
At the other end, Cameron's 62.38 was the costliest set of calls in the league. C.J. Stroud scored 36.36 on the bench while Trevor Lawrence started for 13.58; KC Concepcion's 18.80 and Demario Douglas' 15.20 also sat, and Ladd McConkey started and scored nothing. The best lineup available came to 131.46, which would have cleared the median by 18.79 and turned an 0-2 into a 1-1. Five players were unavailable, among the fewest in the league. Week 8's recap called this the most straightforwardly fixable situation in the Epsilon Mu; a week later it is 52.5%, the lowest one-week figure anyone has recorded in 2026.
1-800-FLOWERS had the week's other collapse and it cost a streak. Jordan Love put up 36.18 on the bench while Drake Maye started for 21.26, with AJ Barner's 15.00 and Quentin Johnston's 13.30 sitting as well. The 101.16 came in 11.51 under the median against a best available 145.28 — 69.6%, the lowest Rechtangles has managed all season, from the roster that hit 98.4% in week 7 — and it ended an eleven-game winning run. Three players were on bye, so the week was not all choice, but the quarterback slot was.
Tetucky Odunze left 44.96 behind, and it was the expensive kind. The best lineup on that roster was worth 172.74, which would have beaten Carol's league-leading 165.64 by 7.10. Kayshon Boutte (28.50), Bryce Young (21.34), Tank Dell (20.50), Isaiah Likely (16.30) and Rome Odunze (16.00) all watched. Token cleared the median and lost the head-to-head by 37.86 with the points to win it in the building.
Denton Daemons is the case the availability rule exists for, and it cuts both ways. Ten players were unavailable — Mike Evans, A.J. Brown and Jauan Jennings ruled out, Davante Adams and Alec Pierce on injured reserve, Cam Skattebo doubtful, two on bye and two on the taxi squad — which is most of a receiving corps. What was left to decide was the quarterback, and Brock Purdy's 26.28 and Tyler Shough's 19.70 both sat behind Geno Smith's 7.40. The best available lineup came to 115.18, 2.51 over the median.
Shmurdarer's Row did the thing week 8's recap asked for. That write-up said the lineup leak was the only thing standing between this roster and a case against the league leader. The Klewj left 12.80, started Joe Burrow for 29.54 with Dak Prescott's 19.50 behind him, and posted 90.9% — his best week of the season, up from 73.6% in week 8. Eight straight wins now, and seventh to fourth in three weeks.
Gulley's 94.9% was a season best too, 7.70 left, with Puka Nacua at 35.00 and Christian Watson at 30.10 doing the work. Tod's 92.9% was his best since week 5 and a long way from the 70.2% of week 8: 7.50 left, six players unavailable, and a head-to-head win that ended a fourteen-game losing run.
The Cold Seats is the sentence week 8 got wrong. That recap said a tidier lineup week was worth two or three wins from there. Jad played his tidiest week since week 7 — 92.8%, 7.60 left — and went 0-2 with it. Lamar Jackson, Sam Darnold and Kyler Murray were all ruled out, which left Baker Mayfield at 9.72 in the quarterback slot, and the best lineup available was 104.90. That is under the median, so no amount of tidiness was worth two games here. It would have won the head-to-head, which is a hard way to lose by 3.86.
Across the season the order runs Carol (92.2%), Gulley (87.3%), Rechtangles (86.3%), Tod (85.2%), BP (84.4%), Jad (82.7%), The Klewj (81.4%), Mitch (80.8%), Token (77.7%) and Cameron (75.1%). Carol has left 105.12 points on the bench in nine weeks and Cameron has left 323.64. Tod sitting fourth on a 2-16 record is the figure that argues hardest with a standings table.
## The wire
This week's claims have not run yet, so there is nothing settled to report there. The free-agent moves that did land in week 9 were small, and one of them mattered: Carol added Chris Rodriguez, dropped Tyreek Hill — an $11 claim from week 3 — and started Rodriguez the same week for 11.20 inside the best lineup of the round. Carol also added Joe Milton and dropped Tank Bigsby. Jad dropped Fernando Mendoza and Tod dropped Raheim Sanders.
What the season's bidding has left in the budgets: Carol $19, The Klewj $41, BP $65, Cameron $78, Mitch $90, Gulley $96 and Tod $97. Rechtangles, Jad and Token each still hold $100, none of them having spent a dollar all season.
The losing bids are the better record of what people actually wanted. The Klewj paid $24 for Braelon Allen in week 7 with Carol at $17 behind him; Allen started week 9 and scored 5.40. Carol's $35 for Roman Wilson in week 4 beat Cameron's $13, and Wilson spent week 9 on injured reserve. Mitch took Darius Cooper for $10 in week 5 past two Gulley bids at $5 and $0 and a $0 from Carol; Cooper started week 9 for 4.50. The most contested name of the season was Rashod Bateman in week 2: BP won him at $15 over The Klewj at $8, Gulley at $5 and two separate bids from Jad — and BP dropped him in week 8.
## Where the season stands
Going into week 10, grouped by what each team needs rather than by record.
Playing for seeding. 1-800-FLOWERS (14-4), Gulley (12-6), The Real Slim Brady (12-6) and Shmurdarer's Row (12-6). Rechtangles leads on conceding the fewest points in the league, 983.78, rather than on scoring: Gulley's 1266.38 and Carol's 1245.70 are both ahead of its 1232.40. The three on 12-6 are separated by 78.76 points of scoring.
Holding on. BP (10-8) and The Cold Seats (9-9). Jad holds the last playoff place two games clear, with the second-fewest points conceded in the league at 992.40 and the strangest shape of anyone's season: seven straight wins, then seven straight losses, then two wins, then two losses, in that order.
Needing to move now. Denton Daemons (7-11) and Tetucky Odunze (7-11), both two games out of sixth with five weeks of regular season left and the trade deadline in week 11. Mitch has lost eight in a row after winning seven in a row. Token has conceded 1306.16, the most in the league by 101.94, while scoring eighth-most.
Playing for next year. Cameron (5-13) and I Love Josh Allen (2-16). Cameron has lost four straight. Tod has scored 842.72, the least in the league by 134.18, which is a roster problem — and a roster problem is the kind a dynasty rebuild is built to fix on purpose.
The standings and the numbers disagree at both ends. Rechtangles is first on record and third on scoring. Tod is tenth on record and fourth at getting a lineup right. Five weeks to settle which of those counts for more.
Week 9 is final. This week's claims had not run when this was written.
Written at the time and left as written. Later updates for this week are in the archive.