Epsilon Mu

BP left nothing on the bench and lost by 3.26 anyway

Written by AI and published without review, so it may contain errors. The scores and records are computed from league data; the judgements are not facts.

Week 9 is final. The median was 112.67. The Real Slim Brady (165.64), Gulley (143.36), Tetucky Odunze (127.78), Shmurdarer's Row (127.44) and BP (124.18) cleared it; 1-800-FLOWERS (101.16), I Love Josh Allen (98.36), The Cold Seats (97.30), Denton Daemons (76.90) and Cameron (69.08) did not. Carol, Gulley and The Klewj went 2-0. Token, BP, Rechtangles and Tod split. Jad, Mitch and Cameron went 0-2.

The scoreboard, widest margin first. Gulley beat Cameron by 74.28, 143.36 to 69.08. The Real Slim Brady beat Tetucky Odunze by 37.86, 165.64 to 127.78. I Love Josh Allen beat Denton Daemons by 21.46, 98.36 to 76.90. 1-800-FLOWERS beat The Cold Seats by 3.86, 101.16 to 97.30. Shmurdarer's Row beat BP by 3.26, 127.44 to 124.18.

Three numbers worth keeping. Carol's 165.64 was the week's best, clear of Gulley by 22.28 and the third-biggest single week of the season behind Rechtangles' 215.74 in week 7 and Gulley's 181.90 in week 5. Cameron's 62.38 left on the bench was the costliest set of lineup calls in the league. And BP's 124.18 was exactly the best score that roster had available — the only perfect lineup of the week.

## The lineups

BP started the best nine it had. 124.18 of a possible 124.18, nothing on the bench that would have improved it: Jayden Daniels went for 14.56, and Bo Nix started and returned 16.68. It lost the head-to-head by 3.26 regardless. A perfect lineup is worth a median win and no more when the other roster puts up 127.44.

Carol came a tenth of a point from the same thing — 165.64 against a possible 165.74 — and did it with ten players unavailable, as many as anyone in the league. Jalen Hurts and Roman Wilson were on IR; DeVonta Smith, Dontayvion Wicks, Treylon Burks, Bam Knight and Terrance Ferguson were ruled out; Pat Freiermuth was on bye; two more sat on the taxi squad. The highest score of the week came off the thinnest roster of the week.

At the other end, Cameron left 62.38 available points on the bench, the most of anyone. C.J. Stroud scored 36.36 there while Trevor Lawrence started and returned 13.58; KC Concepcion's 18.80 and Demario Douglas' 15.20 also sat. The best lineup available came to 131.46, which would have cleared the median by 18.79 — an 0-2 that was reachable as a 1-1. Five players were unavailable, among the fewest in the league, so this was a week of judgement rather than a week of absences, and that is the honest reading of it.

Tetucky Odunze left 44.96 behind, and that one stings most. The best lineup on the roster was worth 172.74, which would have beaten Carol's league-leading 165.64 by 7.10. Kayshon Boutte (28.50), Bryce Young (21.34) and Tank Dell (20.50) all watched from the bench. Token cleared the median and lost the head-to-head by 37.86 with the points to win it in the building.

1-800-FLOWERS left 44.12, and that one ended a streak. Jordan Love put up 36.18 on the bench while Drake Maye started for 21.26. The best lineup available was 145.28; the 101.16 that actually went up came in 11.51 under the median and ended an eleven-game winning run. Rechtangles won the head-to-head, is still first at 14-4 and still concedes less than anyone, but the loss that broke the run was one lineup away from not happening.

Denton Daemons is the case the availability rule exists for, and it cuts both ways. Ten players were unavailable: Mike Evans, A.J. Brown and Jauan Jennings ruled out, Davante Adams and Alec Pierce on IR, Cam Skattebo doubtful, two on bye and two on the taxi squad — most of a receiving corps, in other words. What was left to decide was the quarterback, and Brock Purdy's 26.28 sat behind Geno Smith's 7.40. The best available lineup was 115.18, which is 2.51 over the median. A week without the players, with one call inside it that was still there to be made.

Shmurdarer's Row left 12.80 and won both games regardless — an eighth straight win, and seventh to fourth in three weeks. Gulley left 7.70, Jad 7.60 and Tod 7.50, tidy weeks all three. In two of them the bench could not have changed the median result: Tod's best available 105.86 and Jad's 104.90 were both under 112.67. Jad's 104.90 would have won the head-to-head against 101.16, though, which is a hard way to lose a game by 3.86 — and Jad played week 9 without Lamar Jackson, Sam Darnold and Kyler Murray, all three ruled out. Three quarterbacks on one roster, none of them available.

Across the season the order runs Carol (92.2%), Gulley (87.3%), Rechtangles (86.3%), Tod (85.2%), BP (84.4%), Jad (82.7%), The Klewj (81.4%), Mitch (80.8%), Token (77.7%) and Cameron (75.1%). Carol has left 105.12 points on the bench in nine weeks and Cameron has left 323.64. Tod sitting fourth on a 2-16 record is the figure that argues hardest with a standings table.

## The wire

This week's claims have not run yet, so there is nothing settled to report. What the season's bidding has left in the budgets: Carol $19, The Klewj $41, BP $65, Cameron $78, Mitch $90, Gulley $96 and Tod $97. None of Rechtangles, Jad or Token has spent a dollar all season.

The losing bids are the better record of what people actually wanted. The Klewj paid $24 for Braelon Allen in week 7 with Carol at $17 behind him. Carol's $35 for Roman Wilson in week 4 beat Cameron's $13, and Wilson spent week 9 on IR. Mitch took Darius Cooper for $10 in week 5 past two Gulley bids at $5 and $0 and a $0 from Carol. The most contested name of the season was Rashod Bateman in week 2: BP won him at $15 over The Klewj at $8, Gulley at $5 and two separate bids from Jad — and BP dropped him in week 8. Elsewhere, Carol dropped Tyreek Hill, an $11 claim from week 3, and Jad dropped Fernando Mendoza.

## Where the season stands

Going into week 10, grouped by what each team needs rather than by record.

Playing for seeding. 1-800-FLOWERS (14-4), Gulley (12-6), The Real Slim Brady (12-6) and Shmurdarer's Row (12-6). Rechtangles leads on conceding the fewest points in the league, 983.78, rather than on scoring — two teams have scored more. The three on 12-6 are separated by 78.76 points of scoring, from Gulley's league-best 1266.38 down to 1187.62.

Holding on. BP (10-8) and The Cold Seats (9-9). Jad holds the last playoff place two games clear, with the second-fewest points conceded in the league at 992.40 and the strangest shape of anyone's season: seven straight wins, then seven straight losses, then two wins, then two losses, in that order.

Needing to move now. Denton Daemons (7-11) and Tetucky Odunze (7-11), both two games out of sixth with five weeks left and the trade deadline in week 11. Mitch has lost eight in a row after winning seven in a row. Token has conceded 1306.16, the most in the league by 101.94, while scoring eighth-most — a season of being outscored rather than of scoring badly.

Playing for next year. Cameron (5-13) and I Love Josh Allen (2-16). Cameron has lost four straight. Tod broke a fourteen-game losing run by beating Denton Daemons 98.36 to 76.90, then missed the median by 14.31; the other win on that record dates to week 1. Tod has scored 842.72, the least in the league by 134.18, which is a roster problem — and a roster problem is the kind a dynasty rebuild is built to fix on purpose.

Week 9 is final. This week's claims had not run when this was written.

Tuesday morning · earlier updates