Epsilon Mu

Week 2

Written by AI and published without review, so it may contain errors. The scores and records are computed from league data; the judgements are not facts.

The Cold Seats are the league's only 4-0 team after a week that scrambled everything behind them — seven of ten teams sit at 2-2, 1-800-FLOWERS fell 58.30 points off its week 1 pace, and The Real Slim Brady solved Denton's quarterback logjam by trade.

The week at a glance

The week 2 median fell to 127.07, ten points below week 1's 137.11. Every team plays twice a week here — once against its opponent, once against that median — so a softer median handed a second win to teams that would have missed it seven days earlier. Denton Daemons is the case in point: 141.96, a loss, and a median win anyway.

2-0: austingulley, Shmurdarer's Row, The Real Slim Brady, The Cold Seats. 1-1: Denton Daemons (lost the matchup, beat the median), BrendanPhillips (won the matchup, missed the median). 0-2: Tetucky Odunze, HasBas, 1-800-FLOWERS, I Love Josh Allen.

Three numbers that defined the week:

• 87.72 — 1-800-FLOWERS, a week after scoring 146.02. A drop of 58.30, the largest week-over-week fall in the league, and it came with the league's best efficiency.
• 37.52 — points Shmurdarer's Row left on an available bench. They won by 39.90 anyway.
• 4-0 — The Cold Seats, the only unbeaten team left, and they did it with the week's fifth-best score.

Seven of ten teams are 2-2. PF, PA and efficiency are cumulative through two weeks; optimal and left-on-bench are week 2 only. Week 2 had no byes; six rosters had a player ruled out or doubtful, and those are excluded from the bench math.

Top half

Split by week 2 score, not by standings.

austingulley — 146.92 (2-0)

The week. League-high 146.92 and a 4.96 win over Denton Daemons. Josh Allen went for 40.82, the week's top individual score, with Christian McCaffrey at 22.6 and James Cook at 20.9 behind him. Puka Nacua started and scored 0.0, and Saquon Barkley managed 3.0. Matthew Stafford put up 27.98 on the bench, but he is a quarterback behind Josh Allen, so that one was never startable.

The season. 2-2, 283.38 for, 278.82 against, 86.9% efficient in week 2. The 0-2 start is erased.

Outlook. Second-most points in the league through two weeks. The genuinely available miss was Rachaad White's 14.3 and Mark Andrews's 10.9 against Nacua's zero and Barkley's 3.0 — a flex problem, not a roster problem.

Moves. Claimed Zach Ertz for $4. A $5 claim on Rashod Bateman failed.

Shmurdarer's Row — 145.56 (2-0)

The week. 145.56 and a 39.90-point win over HasBas, a week after posting the league's lowest score. CeeDee Lamb (35.3) and Amon-Ra St. Brown (35.2) went back to back, and Dak Prescott added 29.76 from the QB slot. Mike Gesicki — the $8 claim from week 1 — started at tight end and scored 0.0 while Darren Waller put up 18.3 on the bench.

The season. 2-2, 262.22 for, 251.68 against. Week 2 efficiency of 79.5%, with 37.52 points left on an available bench — the worst in the league this week.

Outlook. A 183.08 optimal, the highest ceiling of the week, from the roster that had the lowest ceiling in week 1. The churn is working. The tight end slot remains the problem it was: Gesicki, Waller, Pitts, Gadsden and Mayer are all on this roster and the one who started scored nothing.

Moves. None. The wire went quiet after a six-move week 1.

The Real Slim Brady — 142.58 (2-0)

The week. 142.58 and the week's largest margin, 54.86 over 1-800-FLOWERS. DeVonta Smith (27.7) and Ja'Marr Chase (26.5) both bounced back — Chase from 3.2 — and Kenneth Walker III added 23.8. Justin Herbert's 9.88 was the weak link, and it stayed that way: Kyler Murray was ruled out and Brock Bowers doubtful, so neither counts against the lineup. Tre Tucker scored 22.9 on the bench.

The season. 2-2, 276.54 for, 240.22 against, 85.2% efficient. Third in scoring after opening 0-2.

Outlook. Back to even, and the quarterback problem got solved by trade three days later (see the wire). The 2025 3-25 team is the third-highest scorer in the league through two weeks, which is the single most surprising line in this recap.

Moves. Acquired Jalen Hurts from Denton Daemons for Tre Tucker and Kaleb Johnson. Added Pat Freiermuth, dropping Charlie Kolar — the $6 claim from week 1. Also a $1-for-$1 FAAB swap with I Love Josh Allen involving no players.

Denton Daemons — 141.96 (1-1)

The week. 141.96, a 4.96 loss, and a median win. Davante Adams exploded for 39.5 after 5.6 in week 1. Jake Ferguson (20.3) and Sam LaPorta (17.2) both delivered. The bench was again the story: Brock Purdy 28.48, Tyler Shough 22.38, Dalton Schultz 26.0.

The season. 1-3, 268.08 for, 298.78 against — the highest points-against in the league. 80.6% efficiency, 34.22 left on the bench.

Outlook. Fourth in scoring, second-to-last in record, and the biggest points-against figure in the league. The defending champion is being beaten by the schedule more than by the roster. Schultz's 26.0 behind two tight ends who scored 37.5 between them is a genuine miss — the flex slots were there.

Moves. Traded Jalen Hurts to The Real Slim Brady for Tre Tucker and Kaleb Johnson. Dropped James Conner.

The Cold Seats — 135.20 (2-0)

The week. 135.20 and a 52.38-point win. Travis Kelce led with 25.1 — a week after being benched for Goedert, who scored 1.4 here — with Chris Olave at 22.6 and Stefon Diggs at 21.7. Sam Darnold and Chigoziem Okonkwo were both ruled out and are excluded.

The season. 4-0, the only unbeaten team. 287.06 for, 208.94 against — the best points-against in the league by 31. 86.6% efficient.

Outlook. Nothing in this profile is luck. The lowest points-against, the top cumulative score, and two straight weeks of above-median output without ever posting the week's best number. Denzel Boston's 20.5 on the bench against Goedert's 1.4 is the only real complaint.

Moves. Two failed claims on Rashod Bateman, at $0 and then $1 within a minute of each other.

Bottom half

BrendanPhillips — 118.94 (1-1)

The week. 118.94, a 6.26 win over Tetucky Odunze, and a median miss of 8.13. Jaxon Smith-Njigba went for 42.5, the highest single score in the league this week, and Jahmyr Gibbs added 23.3. After those two, nobody cleared 15. Colston Loveland started at tight end again and scored 1.3; Hunter Henry's 7.0 sat on the bench.

The season. 2-2, 255.80 for, 249.14 against, 83.9% efficient. Two straight weeks of winning the matchup and missing the median, or the reverse — never both.

Outlook. Smith-Njigba and Gibbs produced 65.8 of 118.94, and the remaining seven starters combined for 53.14. That is a top-heavy roster winning on its stars. The tight end slot has now cost two weeks running.

Moves. Won the week's contested claim: Rashod Bateman at $15, dropping Joe Milton, after four failed bids from three other teams.

Tetucky Odunze — 112.68 (0-2)

The week. 112.68 and a 6.26 loss. Patrick Mahomes started this time and delivered 28.98 — the change flagged in last week's recap, made and rewarded. Trey McBride added 18.1. Nico Collins started and scored 0.0, and David Montgomery fell to 4.4 from 28.9.

The season. 2-2, 261.48 for, 256.30 against. Efficiency up from 77.9% to 83.3%, with 22.60 left on the bench — roughly half last week's 42.26.

Outlook. The lineup got better and the result got worse. Bryce Young (24.08) and Cam Ward (20.02) both outscored most starters from the bench, but both are quarterbacks behind Mahomes and could not have been started. The real miss was Josh Downs's 14.2 against Collins's zero.

Moves. Added Bryce Young off free agency.

HasBas — 105.66 (0-2)

The week. 105.66 and a 39.90-point loss, a week after posting the league's best score. Jonathan Taylor's 29.2 and Jaylen Waddle's 21.8 — Waddle from 1.2 — were the bright spots. Justin Jefferson fell to 8.5, Trevor Lawrence to 7.16, and D.J. Moore scored −0.1 in a starting slot a week after going for 21.0 on the bench.

The season. 2-2, 258.16 for, 279.52 against. Week 2 efficiency of 74.7%, the worst mark in the league this week, with 35.86 points left on a fully available bench.

Outlook. Two weeks, two of the three worst efficiency figures in the league. C.J. Stroud's 17.02 against Lawrence's 7.16 and Tyler Warren's 14.4 against Tucker Kraft's 3.5 were both there to be taken. The roster keeps producing the league's biggest ceilings — 184.00, then 141.52 — and the lineup keeps leaving a third of it unused.

Moves. None.

1-800-FLOWERS — 87.72 (0-2)

The week. 87.72, the lowest score of the season so far and a 58.30-point fall from week 1. Breece Hall led the team with 14.2. Ashton Jeanty, who went for 32.7 in week 1, managed 10.3. No starter reached 15. Zay Flowers was listed doubtful and is excluded.

The season. 2-2, 233.74 for, 259.24 against. Week 2 efficiency of 92.2% — the best in the league — with only 7.38 points available on the bench.

Outlook. This is the week's clearest case of the numbers and the record agreeing on the wrong thing. The optimal lineup was 95.10, meaning even a perfect week loses by 47. Nothing was managed badly; the best running back room in the league simply produced 47.9 points from its four starting backs. It will not happen twice.

Moves. None.

I Love Josh Allen — 82.82 (0-2)

The week. 82.82, the league's lowest, and a 52.38-point loss. Dalton Kincaid's 22.5 was the only starter above 15. Caleb Williams fell from 37.26 to 8.72. Marvin Harrison Jr. started and scored 0.0. Every bench player was available — no byes, no rulings out.

The season. 1-3, 220.18 for, 284.00 against — the fewest points scored in the league. 79.0% efficiency after last week's league-best 94.9%.

Outlook. The optimal was 104.78: this roster could not have reached the median in week 2 with a perfect lineup. That is the finding, and it is a roster finding rather than a management one. The August trades sending veterans out for picks and young receivers are a deliberate rebuild, and this is what the bottom of one looks like in September.

Moves. Added Raheim Sanders, dropping Roschon Johnson — the $1 claim from week 1. Also the $1-for-$1 FAAB swap with The Real Slim Brady.

The transaction wire

The trade. The Real Slim Brady sent Tre Tucker and Kaleb Johnson to Denton Daemons for Jalen Hurts. Both sides had an obvious reason: Denton was carrying Hurts, Brock Purdy and Tyler Shough in a one-quarterback league, and The Real Slim Brady had started Justin Herbert for 9.88 that same week. Note the timing — Tucker scored 22.9 on the Slim Brady bench on Sunday and was traded on Tuesday.

The Bateman auction. Rashod Bateman drew five claims from four teams across three days. austingulley opened at $5 on Saturday and lost. The Cold Seats bid $0 and then $1 a minute later on Tuesday evening, and lost both. Shmurdarer's Row went $8 and lost. BrendanPhillips took him at $15 in the early hours of Wednesday — nearly double the next-highest bid, for a receiver on a roster that had just watched its tight end score 1.3.

The oddity. The Real Slim Brady and I Love Josh Allen processed a trade consisting of $1 of FAAB in each direction and no players. It nets to nothing. Recorded here because it is in the log, not because it means anything.

Looking ahead

Seven of ten teams are 2-2, so the standings say almost nothing yet. Grouped by what they actually need:

Need nothing. The Cold Seats. 4-0, the best points-against in the league by 31, and two above-median weeks without once posting the week's top score. The most stable profile in the league.

Need to use the roster they have. HasBas, Shmurdarer's Row, Denton Daemons. Between them they left 107.60 points on available benches this week. All three have ceilings in the top four; all three are 2-2 or worse. This is now a two-week pattern for HasBas specifically — 74.7% after 82.9%.

Need to score at all. I Love Josh Allen and 1-800-FLOWERS. Both posted optimal lineups under 105. The difference matters: 1-800-FLOWERS has the roster and had one bad Sunday, while I Love Josh Allen's ceiling is the roster. Only one of those fixes itself.

Need the schedule to turn. Denton Daemons, 1-3 with the fourth-most points and the most points against. austingulley, 2-2 and second in scoring. Neither record reflects the team.

Working as intended. The Real Slim Brady and BrendanPhillips — the first because 0-2 became 2-2 and the quarterback hole got traded shut, the second because winning the close ones is still winning.

Deadline picture

The deadline is week 11, nine weeks out. Buyers: The Cold Seats, now with a reason to press the advantage, and The Real Slim Brady, who just paid real assets for a quarterback. Sellers: I Love Josh Allen, whose August and September both say rebuild. Undecided: everyone else.

Two rosters to flag. Denton Daemons at 1-3 with 268.08 points — the defending champion is the most underwater team in the league relative to its scoring, and just traded away a quarterback. If they are sellers by week 6, that trade will look like the first move. And HasBas, 2-2 with the league's best raw ceiling and its worst lineup efficiency — a team whose record will swing hard in whichever direction the lineups go.

Published 2026-10-13. The figures here are as they stood that day; the live pages recompute independently. All recaps