Epsilon Mu

Week 7

Written by AI and published without review, so it may contain errors. The scores and records are computed from league data; the judgements are not facts.

Four teams lost their quarterback to a bye and the league split cleanly in half: all five winners also beat the median, the first week this season nobody went 1-1. 1-800-FLOWERS put up 215.74, the highest score anyone has managed in 2026.

The week at a glance

The median was 118.95. Clear it and you bank a second win on top of whatever your opponent does — and this week, for the first time all season, the two results agreed for everybody. Every team that won its head-to-head also beat the median, and every team that lost its head-to-head also fell short. Six straight weeks had produced exactly two split 1-1 results. Week 7 produced none.

2-0: 1-800-FLOWERS, BrendanPhillips, Shmurdarer's Row, HasBas, austingulley. 1-1: nobody. 0-2: The Cold Seats, Denton Daemons, I Love Josh Allen, Tetucky Odunze, The Real Slim Brady.

Three numbers

215.74 — 1-800-FLOWERS, the highest score anyone has posted in 2026 and the only time this season anyone has passed 200. It beat the previous season best, austingulley's 181.90 in week 5, by 33.84. Nine starters, all of them in double figures, and only 3.50 left on the bench.

44.60 — the points Denton Daemons left on the bench, the most of anyone this week. Mason Taylor scored 25.20 and Cam Skattebo 19.10 while Sam LaPorta started and returned 2.80. An optimal lineup would have been 156.32, which beats Shmurdarer's Row and clears the median comfortably. The gap between 0-2 and 2-0 was entirely internal.

0 — teams that went 1-1, the first clean split of the season. The league sorted itself perfectly by score: the top five all won twice, the bottom five all lost twice.

Byes did most of the damage. BUF, JAX, LAC and WAS were all off, which cost four different teams their starting quarterback and stripped another of four pass-catchers. The injury report took the rest.

Standings after week 7

The top half

The five teams that scored most in week 7. Points left on the bench counts only players who could actually have been started — anyone on bye or ruled out is excluded, so a bye-week zero never counts against a manager.

1-800-FLOWERS — 215.74

The week. The best single performance of the season, and it was not close. Tony Pollard went for 36.50 and Drake Maye added 28.44, but the story is the floor: every one of the nine starters cleared 13 points. Zay Flowers 27.70, Jameson Williams 26.10, Luther Burden 23.70, Ashton Jeanty 21.60, Drake London 19.60, D'Andre Swift 19.00, Harold Fannin 13.10. Only 3.50 was left on the bench, the tidiest lineup in the league. Quentin Johnston sat on a bye and Zach Charbonnet was ruled out; neither mattered.

The season. 11-3, 981.08 for and 793.58 against. The win streak is now eight games — four straight weeks of 2-0 — and the record is the best in the league by two games.

Outlook. The roster has no obvious hole and the schedule has stopped mattering much; at 11-3 with a median this team clears most weeks, the playoff seed is close to banked. The one thing worth noting is that 981.08 is second in points, not first, which means the record is slightly ahead of the scoring. That is a nice problem.

Moves. None.

BrendanPhillips — 151.68

The week. A bye week this bad should have been fatal. Jayden Daniels, Terry McLaurin, Keon Coleman and Brenton Strange were all off, and Kyle Monangai and Dont'e Thornton were ruled out — six unavailable bodies including the starting quarterback. Bo Nix came in and threw for 26.28, Jaxon Smith-Njigba led the team with 31.30, and Javonte Williams added 21.50. 27.80 was still left on the bench, mostly Makai Lemon's 19.70 behind Xavier Worthy's 4.10, but that is a quibble on a week this compromised.

The season. 9-5, 946.26 for and 844.62 against, on a four-game winning streak. Third in the league on points, behind austingulley and 1-800-FLOWERS.

Outlook. The young receivers are arriving faster than the record suggests. Smith-Njigba is a genuine WR1 and Loveland has turned into a weekly starter at 19.90. With Daniels and McLaurin back from bye this is a top-three roster.

Moves. None.

Shmurdarer's Row — 143.98

The week. Five players on bye — Tuten, Gadsden, Hunter, Croskey-Merritt and Mitchell — plus Jeremiyah Love ruled out, and it barely registered. Joe Burrow went for 28.88, CeeDee Lamb 24.40 and Amon-Ra St. Brown 24.20. Braelon Allen, added off the wire during the week, started immediately and returned 19.40. The 15.00 left on the bench is Dak Prescott's 23.28 sitting behind Burrow, which is not a decision anyone would second-guess.

The season. 8-6, 922.18 for and 858.20 against, four straight wins. Four straight games won across two weeks has taken the record from 4-6 to 8-6.

Outlook. Three quarterbacks of starting quality — Burrow, Prescott, Goff — for one slot is the definition of a tradeable surplus, and the deadline is at week 11. Running back is where the roster is thin once the bye players come back.

Moves. Added Braelon Allen on a contested $24 waiver claim, plus Roschon Johnson; dropped Xavier Hutchinson and Kendrick Bourne.

HasBas — 127.62

The week. Four pass-catchers and the quarterback gone at once: Trevor Lawrence, Ladd McConkey, D.J. Moore and Parker Washington on bye, Tyler Warren ruled out. C.J. Stroud stepped in for 16.52 and the backfield carried it — Quinshon Judkins 23.40, Jonathan Taylor 19.00, Ollie Gordon II 17.30. The 32.80 left on the bench is the second-worst figure of the week: KC Concepcion scored 23.20 and Caleb Douglas 21.00 while Demario Douglas started for 5.30 and Malik Washington for 6.50. The win came anyway.

The season. 5-9, 810.32 for and 908.94 against. Two straight wins after a dismal start, and lineup efficiency of 77.8% is the lowest in the league — the roster has been better than the results.

Outlook. The talent is real and young. Judkins, Concepcion and Caleb Douglas are all producing, and Justin Jefferson's 8.40 week is noise rather than decline. Closing the efficiency gap is worth more than any trade available.

Moves. Won Demario Douglas on waivers for $15; dropped Isaiah Davis.

austingulley — 124.70

The week. The most consequential set of substitutions of the season. Josh Allen, James Cook and Omarion Hampton were all on bye, Rachaad White too, and Jaydon Blue is a free agent with no NFL team — four of the nine spots in last week's lineup were headed for zero. The swaps went in minutes before kickoff on Sunday after the commissioner sent a text. Run the week 6 starting nine against week 7 production and it scores 85.00; the lineup that actually played scored 124.70. That is 39.70 points, and it is the whole week: 85.00 loses to The Cold Seats' 113.20 and falls 33.95 short of the median. A 2-0 week was a 0-2 week without the nudge. Matthew Stafford came off the bench for 18.50, Christian McCaffrey led the team with 22.00, and Puka Nacua played through a questionable tag for 21.80.

The season. 9-5, 993.86 for — the most points in the league — and 867.32 against. Three straight wins.

Outlook. The best scoring roster in the league sitting two games behind 1-800-FLOWERS on record. With Allen, Cook and Hampton all back next week this is the team nobody wants in a playoff bracket. The lesson of this week is cheaper than the alternative.

Moves. None.

The bottom half

The five lowest scorers in week 7. Four of them were missing a starting quarterback, a top receiver or both.

The Cold Seats — 113.20

The week. The hardest availability week in the league and the narrowest loss. Lamar Jackson and Rashee Rice were ruled out; Stefon Diggs, Dalton Kincaid, Jakobi Meyers and Chigoziem Okonkwo were all on bye. Six unavailable, including the quarterback and the best receiver. Kyler Murray filled in for 13.90 and Tee Higgins led the team with 26.80, but three tight ends ended up in the lineup — Hockenson 13.50, Goedert 9.80, Kelce 8.40 — because that was what the roster had left. Only 8.38 was left on the bench, which is about as well as this week could have been played. The loss was by 11.50.

The season. 7-7, 903.32 for and 778.26 against. The 778.26 against is the lowest in the league, which makes the .500 record strange reading. This team started 7-0 in games and has now lost seven straight; the two halves are exactly symmetrical.

Outlook. Still a playoff roster having a miserable month. Jackson's return fixes the quarterback slot and Kincaid, Diggs and Meyers all come back from bye. The streak is bad luck meeting a bad bye week, not decline — the points against say this team has been beaten by other people's good weeks.

Moves. Dropped Braelon Allen on Thursday morning. Shmurdarer's Row won him on waivers two days later and started him for 19.40, more than all but one of the nine players The Cold Seats did start.

Denton Daemons — 111.72

The week. The one genuinely self-inflicted result of the round. No byes at all and only Mike Evans ruled out, and still 44.60 was left on the bench — the most of anyone. Mason Taylor scored 25.20 and Cam Skattebo 19.10 while Sam LaPorta started for 2.80 and Wan'Dale Robinson for 4.70. The optimal lineup was 156.32, which would have beaten Shmurdarer's Row and cleared the median. Tre Tucker's 21.30 and Josh Jacobs's 20.10 deserved better company.

The season. 7-7, 918.52 for and 955.70 against. Four straight losses after seven straight wins. The 955.70 against is second-highest in the league.

Outlook. Bijan Robinson, Kyren Williams and Josh Jacobs is still the best running back room in the league, and the defending champion is a .500 team with a positive underlying roster. The tight end rotation is where the points are leaking — Taylor beat LaPorta by 22.40 this week, and did it from the bench.

Moves. Dropped Calvin Ridley.

I Love Josh Allen — 102.62

The week. Caleb Williams led the way with 22.12 and Emanuel Wilson added 18.50, which for this roster counts as a good day. Tre Harris and Skyler Bell were on bye and Brian Robinson was ruled out. The 14.90 left on the bench is almost entirely Malik Willis's 26.02 sitting behind Williams at the only quarterback slot — not a lineup decision so much as an embarrassment of the wrong riches.

The season. 1-13, 675.58 for and 931.08 against. Twelve straight losses, and 675.58 is 134.74 behind the ninth-placed team. Lineup efficiency of 86.1% is fourth-best in the league, which is the clearest possible statement that the problem is the roster, not the manager.

Outlook. A rebuild going exactly as a rebuild goes. The team name has outlived Josh Allen's residence on the roster, and the 2027 rookie draft is the asset that matters now. Caleb Williams at 22.12 and RJ Harvey at 14.00 are the kind of young pieces worth keeping; everything with an expiry date should be on the market before week 11.

Moves. None.

Tetucky Odunze — 102.12

The week. Ran into the buzzsaw — 102.12 would have lost to 1-800-FLOWERS by 113.62 whatever was started. Trey McBride was excellent at 27.10 and Bucky Irving added 24.00, but Nico Collins managed 2.60 and Isaiah Likely 3.20. Jaylin Lane, Antonio Williams and Khalil Shakir were on bye, David Montgomery was out and Theo Johnson doubtful. 25.40 was left on the bench, chiefly Omar Cooper Jr.'s 22.50.

The season. 5-9, 819.52 for and 1043.02 against. That points-against figure is the worst in the league by 87.32 and the single clearest explanation of the record; this roster has been shot at more than anyone.

Outlook. McBride and Irving are foundations and Rome Odunze is still a buy. The quarterback slot is the hole — Bryce Young's 7.42 with Patrick Mahomes scoring 7.00 on the bench was a coin flip between two bad outcomes. With $100 of FAAB untouched, there is every means to fix it.

Moves. None.

The Real Slim Brady — 100.80

The week. The lowest score of the week, and close to unavoidable. DeVonta Smith, Emeka Egbuka and Dontayvion Wicks were all ruled out — three receivers, two of whom were the team's second- and fifth-highest scorers in week 6 — while Justin Herbert, Brian Thomas Jr. and Kimani Vidal sat on byes. Six unavailable. Kirk Cousins led the team with 20.40 and Ja'Marr Chase added 17.20; after that the lineup was Bam Knight at 9.30 and Samaje Perine at 7.60, both added during the week to fill holes. Only 13.40 was left on the bench, and there was very little left to leave.

The season. 8-6, 927.58 for and 917.50 against. Two straight losses. Lineup efficiency of 89.8% is the best in the league — nobody has squeezed more out of what was available.

Outlook. The record is honest and the roster is fine; this was one bad Friday on the injury report. Chase is the anchor and Bowers has been a top tight end all year. The thinner point is depth behind the receivers, which is exactly what an active week on the wire was trying to address. $24 of FAAB remaining is the least in the league, so the next fix has to come by trade.

Moves. Busiest team in the league: three in, three out across five days. Added J.J. McCarthy and Samaje Perine, and won Bam Knight on a $0 claim; dropped MarShawn Lloyd, Efton Chism and Tanner McKee.

The transaction wire

No trades. Five teams moved players, eight transactions in all, three of them waiver claims.

The pickup of the week was Braelon Allen. The Cold Seats dropped him on Thursday morning, which caught the league by surprise; Shmurdarer's Row won the contested claim on Saturday for $24 and started him the next day for 19.40 — more than eight of the nine players The Cold Seats did start. A $24 bid for a back who returns 19.40 in his first week is the best money anyone has spent this season. Slim Brady's three-for-three was damage control: with Herbert on bye and three receivers ruled out, Perine and Knight went straight into the lineup for 7.60 and 9.30.

Nothing has moved yet in week 8.

FAAB remaining

Two teams spent this week: Shmurdarer's Row $24 on Braelon Allen, HasBas $15 on Demario Douglas. Slim Brady's Bam Knight claim went through at $0.

Slim Brady is still the lowest at $24, with Shmurdarer's Row now second after the Allen claim. Three teams have not spent a dollar all season.

Looking ahead

Seven weeks down, four until the trade deadline at week 11, and the byes that shaped this week are mostly behind the teams they hurt. HOU, NO, NYG and SF are off in week 8.

Already there. 1-800-FLOWERS at 11-3 on an eight-game run. Two clear of the field with the most complete starting nine in the league.

Good rosters, right record. austingulley (9-5, most points in the league) and BrendanPhillips (9-5, third in points). Both get significant players back from bye next week, and both should be better in November than they were in October.

One decision from contending. Shmurdarer's Row (8-6) has three startable quarterbacks and one slot; The Real Slim Brady (8-6) has the league's best lineup efficiency and the least FAAB. Each has a surplus the other end of the table wants.

Better than their record. The Cold Seats at 7-7 have conceded 778.26, the fewest points in the league, and have lost seven straight games after winning their first seven. Tetucky Odunze at 5-9 have conceded 1043.02, the most by 87.32. Neither record reflects the roster; both have been beaten by schedule as much as by performance.

Playing for next year. HasBas (5-9) and I Love Josh Allen (1-13). Both are young, both are accumulating, and only one of them is scoring like a rebuild — HasBas's 77.8% lineup efficiency is the single most fixable number in the league.

The deadline picture

Buyers. The Cold Seats and Denton Daemons, both 7-7 with rosters that belong higher, both needing one position fixed rather than a rebuild. Tetucky Odunze has $100 of FAAB and a quarterback problem.

Sellers. I Love Josh Allen, clearly. HasBas should be listening on anyone over 27.

Undecided. Shmurdarer's Row and The Real Slim Brady, each at 8-6 and each one good month from changing their mind.

Watch the quarterback market. Four teams spent this week starting a backup. Shmurdarer's Row is sitting on Prescott and Goff behind Burrow, and at least three teams in this league would pay for either.

Published 2026-10-27. The figures here are as they stood that day; the live pages recompute independently. All recaps