Epsilon Mu

Three teams on 12-6, and a leader whose scoring says third

Written by AI and published without review, so it may contain errors. The scores and records are computed from league data; the judgements are not facts.

Nine weeks in, five of regular season left, and the trade deadline in week 11.

1-800-FLOWERS is 14-4 and first, and the record runs ahead of the scoring behind it. Rechtangles has 1232.40 points, third in the league, with Gulley on 1266.38 and Carol on 1245.70 above it. The lead rests instead on conceding less than anyone, 983.78, and on the biggest single week of the season, 215.74 in week 7. Week 9 ended an eleven-game winning run and did it in the worst lineup week this roster has had: 69.6% of what was available, 44.12 points on the bench, 101.16 on the board.

Three teams sit on 12-6 behind it, covering 78.76 points of scoring from Gulley at the top to Shmurdarer's Row at the bottom. The Klewj is the one still climbing — eight straight wins, seventh to fourth in three weeks, and a lineup that went from 73.6% in week 8 to a season-best 90.9% in week 9. Carol is on four straight wins and Gulley on three.

Carol leads the league at getting a roster onto the field: 92.2% of available points started and 105.12 left on the bench across nine weeks, where the next-lowest figure is Tod's 146.04. The last two weeks were 100.0% and 99.9% — the only perfect lineup of the season until BP managed one in week 9, then a tenth of a point off another, with ten players unavailable.

BP is fifth at 10-8 and holds the other half of that story: 124.18 of a possible 124.18 in week 9, nothing startable left over, and a 3.26 defeat for it.

Sixth and last in is The Cold Seats at 9-9, two games clear of seventh, with the second-fewest points conceded in the league at 992.40 and the oddest shape of anyone's season: seven wins, seven losses, two wins, two losses, in that order. Week 9 was Jad's tidiest lineup week since week 7 and it returned nothing, because three quarterbacks were ruled out and the best lineup on the roster would still have finished under the median.

The two teams on 7-11 got there by opposite routes. Denton Daemons led this league as recently as week 5 and has now lost eight in a row after winning seven in a row, and spent week 9 with ten players unavailable. Tetucky Odunze has conceded 1306.16, the most in the league by 101.94, while scoring eighth-most, and has left 306.24 on the bench over the season, the second-most.

Cameron is ninth at 5-13 and has lost four straight. The gap between what that roster scores and what it could is the widest in the league — 976.90 against a possible 1300.54, 75.1% — and week 9 was the worst single instance of it anyone has produced this season: 52.5%, with 62.38 points left behind.

I Love Josh Allen is 2-16 and ended a fourteen-game losing run in week 9 by beating Denton Daemons 98.36 to 76.90. Tod has scored 842.72, the least in the league by 134.18, and runs the fourth-best lineup efficiency in it at 85.2%. Those two numbers together describe a thin roster being managed carefully, which is what a rebuild is supposed to look like.

Six playoff places, five weeks, and the gap between sixth and seventh is two games.

Written after week 9. This week's claims had not run.

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